Instructors vs Fathers by Ps Jim Jung

I’m privileged to be the father of two very impressive, fine young men. I have a couple of claims on their lives which are: biological and parental. Being their dad includes a great deal more than simply having fathered them biologically. I’ve realised that being a parent requires a much deeper level of commitment, compassion and concern for their total wellbeing and care. At every stage of their development different combinations of oversight has been required to assist them in that development and growth. It hasn’t always been easy but it has been the highlight of my life.

The book of Proverbs is written as a manifest of commitment, compassion and concern from the perspective of a father to his son. Wisdom gleaned over a lifetime is transferred in thirty one chapters of heartfelt life lessons; a brilliant guidebook for everyone.

When the Apostle Paul wrote to the church in Corinth he makes a really fascinating statement to them:

“For though you might have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers” (1 Corinthians 4: 15 NKJV).

The value of this verse eluded me for many years as I didn’t see the difference between an instructor and a father (my thanks to Frank Damazio’s book “The making of a leader”). The original Greek meaning for the word “instructor” basically meant a tutor, guide or guardian who was charged with supervising the morals and development of boys in the higher classes of society. This was often fulfilled by a trustworthy servant of the household who would be the ever-present companion of the young man. Everywhere the son went the instructor would constantly correct, censor and even severely enforce the rigid rules of their upbringing.

In the church, we have many “instructors” who offer strict teachings and rigid rules that need to be followed. We would recognise this as a teacher-student relationship, obviously necessary and beneficial. But Paul recognises that if that is the only guidance and instruction we receive in our developing years, our outlook on life isn’t going to be as balanced as we would hope.

You have thousands of instructors, Paul says, but not many who step into that father-son space. Our world is so bereft of practicing fathers who are willing to move beyond a biological responsibility, and accept the lifetime challenge of commitment, compassion and concern for their developing children. This applies as much to mothers and daughters; it isn’t a gender issue. We need fathers and mothers to be our guides, our loving mentors and our cheer squads, both within our biological and spiritual families.